Maybe being out for the last five or so years and living in the cesspool of drama that is the Jersey Shore has made me a bit jaded, but it’s been very clear to me that it can be very very difficult to determine who is a real friend and who is definitely not.

Last night while watching Real Housewives of New Jersey, Ginger and I witnessed a prime example of what goes on at one of our favorite gay hangouts on pretty much a weekly basis. The similarities are amazing. Now, this is not to knock the place, as it is a very comfortable bar and the staff are fabulous, but some of clientele are a bit on the, shall we say, catty side, and you never really know what you’re going to walk into when you go there.

It’s an alliance thing. Whatever the Drama of the Week is – and, yes, there’s different drama every week – certain people tend to flock to the alleged “victim” of whatever “crime” has been committed. Someone, who two weeks ago said, “Oh, person A should totally be with person B. Person C needs to give up on A already,” will quickly change their tune when talking to person C and say something like, “Oh my god, I can’t believe A and B did this to you. A is such a coldhearted bitch.” Blah blah blah.

Funny how you were so quick to defend the other person just a few weeks ago. Now you’re trying to look like the compassionate friend that you weren’t. Good for you.

Everybody tries to cover her own ass and act like the better person. I had one acquaintance spread the word that I was a cokehead last year – an outrageous lie – but then tell everyone that she “would never get involved in the drama. It’s such a waste of energy. Those people are beneath me.” Okay … so don’t spread untrue rumors about people in the first place, you hypocrite.

It astounds me that those who would be right beside you during your time of crisis will so swiftly turn around and tell someone else the exact opposite of what they told you.

And it really makes it hard to trust people. Have you experienced the same thing within the lesbian community where you are?