An Open Letter to the Tea Party Patriots
Dear Tea Party members,
I’m sorry all of that white male privilege didn’t work out for you. I’m sorry that we live in a country where “I want it without paying for it, and I don’t want anyone else to have it” is not a general sentiment. I’m sorry that you feel you are overtaxed, overworked, and under-appreciated for all of the good you do. I sincerely apologize for the wars that your children aren’t fighting and that you who are of age haven’t bothered to sign up for.
I am sorry that you haven’t found the time to volunteer at your local soup kitchen. I am sorry that your Chevy Suburban/Ford Expedition/GM Yukon/Cadillac Escalade costs what most families spend in groceries per month to fill with foreign oil. I am sorry that the wind turbines obstruct your view of the sea. I know you paid a lot for that when you signed your mortgage with Sotheby’s.
I deeply regret the fact that your marriage is in jeopardy due to the homosexuals. Those hell-bound souls will surely be the end to the institution of heterosexual marriage, a pact that has proven time and time again that it can withstand anything society throws its way.
I am sorry, my upper middle-class white brethren. I am sorry that we will never return to a time when an insurance company can deny treatment to a four-year-old with lymphoma. I am so sad for all of us that our way of life has been threatened by a blatantly socialist movement to cure diseases without the constraints of privatization. Surely the American way of life is coming under attack.