I have to wonder, was 2009 a good year for anyone??  I’ve had some disastrous years but this one, by far, takes the cake. Aside from the dwindling economic crisis, my personal life faced a crisis of its own. I’ve discovered through months and months of strife and realizing the meaning of “true friends”, I’m not ready for a serious relationship. I would list all the reasons why but that would take up five pages and I’m not sure I want to admit all my faults. Although the demise of my relationship wasn’t entirely my fault, I’m sure there were things I could have done to soften the situation. I refuse to be in competition with alcohol to gain someones attention and I will not conform to the ideals of immature people who think that my methods of trying to save a relationship are inconsequential. I spent countless hours trying to fix a person who refuses to fix themselves and the end result was me taking time away from myself and losing track on what’s most important. I find it fascinating that people who have never been in your situation or never had a stable relationship for that matter, always want to offer up their opinions first. They continue to chastise your efforts until the next big drama ensues and seemingly, not that I would openly want to admit this to anyone, take certain pieces of your pride and ego along with it. To them, it was just something to talk about. To me, it was my life. People only hear what they want to hear but everyone thinks they see everything. The famous saying is “believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.” If you can’t make the effort to divert the extra energy to making yourself a better person, I can’t be bothered with being second best.